


Tokyo Ghoul More Like Tokyo Cool fckin kill me

by asexualhipster



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:35:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4743149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexualhipster/pseuds/asexualhipster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>help</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. woosh

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notsolittlem0nster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsolittlem0nster/gifts).



> I don't know the source material why am I doing this  
> fun fact: I originally wrote this on the back of my best friends time table

**One** day Tonka and Ken doll were makin out. On the other side of the room Hide was crying. He was an ugly crier. "This could be us but you be playing.He whispered and then he disappeared bc. he was playing Hide and seek. Suddenly Shuunami crashed thru the window 15 minutes late w/ starbucks (it was a psl) woosh. He was a confused bean. "wtf" he said.

 

_ **Fin.** _


	2. Love is Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't cry
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> craft

**It** was valentine day, toucan was walking down the street singing Barbie Girl™. Suddenly Koncer Ken burst out from a tree singing, "cum on barbie let go party" Tambourine was so happy bc he was her boyf and he was doing something 4 her. #blessed. Suddenly Hide appeared. He was happy bc noone found him during Hide and seek but he was mad bc noone fund him during Hide and seek and it had been 4 months. "if I can't have you then nobody can!" he yelled and then stabbed through Kracken with his bare hands. Telephone was sad and shit. "Don't cry,Craft!"said Dan Howell who was there apparently and then Hide imploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now with added dan howell  
> i wrote this sitting next to my 5 year old cousin (he can't read it's fine)


	3. sploosh splash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually dont know what happens at pool parties so sorry if some details are a bit off

**People** were screaming. But like, the fun way. This pool party was off the chain. Does anyone even use that phrase any more? We may never know. Anyway, no one was exactly sure who's pool it was, and no one really cared. So far no one had died but that was good bc if they had it would have been a toootal bummer. So everyone was just havin a blast down at ye old stranger's pool when all of a sudden someone bumped into Shoe. "Watch where you're going man!" yelled the kid who apparently had a death wish. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across theUSA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. _"_ and with that, Shoe cannon balled into the pool and summoned a Shuunami. Everyone drowned in fury-shit and it was horrific. _  
_


	4. Halloweeb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #2spoppy4u

**It** was Halloween and everyone was alive again somehow. Whoop whoop. Everyone had been spending lots of time,money,sweat and tears (maybe blood) to make sure that their outfit was on point. Kaneki was squatted on the floor as his costume made it very hard to move. "dude wth are u" said some rando dressed as Zorro. "I'm the human centipede bitch!" and with that he scooted away dramatically. Touca was standing on a table shao (squacking her ass off) "IM A TOUCANNN" she shriekced. Tsukiyama, who just so happened to be dressed as Sharknado stared in horror and whispered, "which motherfucker spiked the punch?????????" Touca/n scoffeded,"IT DOESN'T MATTER IT WAS A FAKE PUNCK MADE OF LIES" she slurred and yelled at the same time. "whatever loser" some wierdo with a curly hair, a waistcoat, a long walking stick and those rediculous glasses that only douche bags and apparently sweet innocent children wear. "WHO THE FUCKF ARE U??? HMMM???" toucak wad so mad. The wierdi tiokk off there glasses. "it me sweet baby infant hinman." "WHAT THE HECHY EAR U EVEN SUPPOERESD TO BEE" "im bilbo swaggins" and then hinn turned sassily onher heel and sasheysd away bc fuck that shit. By this time most ppl had drunk the lying punch and were fuckin waasteed. The song sshots played and everyone who drank the pung simeltaniously passed out during the last chorus.

**Author's Note:**

> There's two parts but I can't be bothered right now there was talk of writing a third part but idk


End file.
